Sandbag Bicycle - Blog 86
Alright, here’s a funny little tale about a 25lb sandbag trying to ride a bike:
One sunny afternoon in the sleepy town of Dusty Corners, a bored farmer named Jed decided to spice things up. He’d just finished stacking his sandbags to shore up the creek, but one bag—a lumpy, 25lb sack he nicknamed "Sandy"—seemed to stare at him with a mischievous glint (or so he imagined, since it had a weird knot that looked like an eye). Jed, who’d had one too many iced teas, thought, “Why not give Sandy a taste of adventure?”
He hauled out his old Schwinn bike, a rusty relic with a wobbly front wheel, and plopped Sandy right on the seat. The sandbag slumped over like a drunk uncle at a barbecue, so Jed grabbed some duct tape and lashed it upright, muttering, “You’re gonna ride, buddy, whether you like it or not!” For good measure, he stuck a straw hat on top, wedged under the tape, giving Sandy the look of a sunburned tourist.
Jed figured a little downhill action was the ticket. He wheeled Sandy to the top of Miller’s Slope—a gentle hill that ended in a soft hay bale pile (or so he thought). With a dramatic “Yee-haw!” he gave the bike a shove. Off went Sandy, hat flapping like a panicked bird, the bike weaving like it was dodging invisible possums. For a glorious ten seconds, it was poetry in motion—until the wobbly wheel hit a rock. The bike lurched, Sandy flopped sideways, and the whole mess cartwheeled into Old Lady Pritchard’s prized petunia patch instead of the hay.
Petunias flew like confetti, the bike’s bell gave a sad ding, and Sandy burst open, scattering sand across the flowers like a gritty snowstorm. Old Lady Pritchard stormed out, waving her broom, yelling, “Jedediah Monroe, you’ve turned my garden into a sandbox!” Jed, doubled over laughing, shouted back, “Sandy just wanted to be a Tour de France champ, ma’am!”
By the time Jed cleaned up, Sandy was half gone, the bike was a twisted sculpture, and Pritchard was plotting revenge with her prize-winning zucchini. The town still chuckles about “Sandy’s Big Ride”—and Jed swears he’ll stick to tractors from now on.
What do you think—should Sandy get a rematch?
Sorry that this story had a tragic end to the sandbag.
Thank you for reading. Leave a comment.
