Standup Comic Sandbag- Blog 37

If a black sandbag were a standup comic, here are some jokes it might crack:

"Why did the sandbag refuse the stage light? Because I already got enough 'shade' from the construction crew!"

"I was at the gym the other day, and someone asked if I was there to spot them. I said, 'Buddy, I'm here to drop, not spot!'"

"You know you're a sandbag when people only pay attention to you when there's a storm coming. Suddenly, I'm the life of the party!"

"I tried online dating, but every profile read, 'Looking for someone who can hold their own.' I guess they weren't prepared for this kind of weight!"

"I once got into a fight with a punching bag. Let's just say, it ended in a tie; we both just hung there, taking it."

"What's my favorite holiday? Halloween, because finally, everyone else is as full of something heavy as I am!"

"They say I'm good at keeping things grounded. I say, I'm just here to make sure the ego doesn't float away."

These jokes play on the physical characteristics and typical uses of a sandbag, mixing in some self-deprecation and situational humor that would resonate with an audience looking for laughs from an unexpected comedian. 

It is a shame that none of these joke are actually funny.